I admit I did wrong but do not agree with husbands demands. Is it wrong to ask him to meet me half way?

I have been married for almost 10yrs. Until recently it hasn't been a very great one. No one is perfect but for years I was shown hardly any affection at all & the attention I got was being griped/yelled at for anything & everything. I felt very alone at times even though I was married. We have always had a extremely large circle of friends. I was raised in a family of music lovers so going to see live music is a large part of my life as is his & our friends.I'm always the one keeping him imformed on what is going on with all of our friends. Friendship is important to me & I give them a call every now & then to see how they are. One of my best friends is a guy that we both know & have known for years. My husband for longer than me at least 15yrs & myself 12yrs. We have always been better friends than he & my husband have been. He sang at our wedding & we all lived in a duplex together for about 3 yrs. Since we moved out of that house I have always kept in touch with him. talked a few times a week, had lunch every now & then, BS'd about this & that. I never kept anything about this friendship from my husband. He never once picked up the phone to see how he was doing ro hangout with him or anyone for that matter when he changed & became the stranger but we all still saw each other out. On with it, things got really bad with my husband. For mths I was ignored unless i was being bitched at. I talked to myself at home. thats what it felt like. i rarely got a response from him & if i did it was a nod or short 1 word answer & if i got that it was a good day. most of the time i wasn't even sure he heard me. it was bad no matter how much i tried to make him see how it hurt me & had been hurting me for years by refusing to understand that its not ok to never kiss your wife, or constantly be yelling. he was just a very unhappy person making me very unhappy but I stuck it out waiting for him to come back to me. I had my friends & music & that can help you get thru anything. My guy friend was there for me of course. we never crossed the line of our friendship ever in all these years. he has a girlfriend who is also my friend. but one night he's wasted & i'm a little wasted & miserable at this point we're texting about nothing important & we started talking dirty. not to each other about each other just about dirty subjects & ended up doing some dirty texting ourselves.he sent a picture i sent a picture & then it got weird so we quit. We were embarrased & ashamed & didn't talk for a few weeks after that. when we did we decided to just pretend like it never happened because it was stupid & it didn't mean anything & it wouldn't happen again. Not long after that my husband finally snapped out of his la la land & really started trying to be the person I married. Hooray right. once this happened he became jealous of my friendship & said he didn't realize we were so close. its because he wasn't paying attention. that incident was the only thing i ever hid from him. He asked me to not talk to him about our problems I did, he asked me to not have lunch with him anymore, i did that too. I guess when it all went down my husband got the dirty picture off my phone. 2mths ago he confronted me about it knowing who it was & i told him what happened. He told me I was never to speak to my friend again & told me that i could kiss all my other friends goodbye too & that i was never allowed to go anywhere that he may be at. I know what happened was wrong. We both admit that. I just don't think its fair for him to tell me I can never speak to him again. He's connected to everyone that we know & there is a good possibility that he could be anywhere we go in town. I do not feel like i should have to give up my friends & music over this. I am willing to change my relationship with this friend & I think that my husband should be able to be in the same bldg as him & just not talk to him & avoid getting too near him. 2 of my good friends are getting married in a few weeks & he says we're not going, our friends band is having a huge 10ys celebration & we have been there since the beginning. we can't go support those guys because he might be. I just think that he's being a little ridiculous. I don't blame him for being upset & i'm not asking him to get over it now. We're adults & we should be able to come up with a solution that doesn't involve changing my entire life over one mistake that happoened almost a year ago. maybe this is the wrong thing to say but for 8+ years I was not treated very well & i stayed in a marriage that most people would not have. i'm glad i did because things have been better, its hard going back but we're getting there. i just feel like I gave him chance after chance & he won't even try to give me a second chance. it has not happened again & it won't. i realize he has no way of knowing that but I think he could give me a cha