Can someone tell me why this is happening? ):?

im having these weird problems learning about Jesus. I love Jesus and believe he's my savior and all.. But im always having questions and it feels like something is pulling me back? Sometimes it feels like i dont care or that it doesnt matter, and that i dont wanna go to church, or even read things about God or Jesus, and it scares me.. I dont know why i think it and i dont want to, it just happens, like somethings forcing me.. I'm 14 and it makes me wanna cry, and im exremely scared.. why does this happen? does anyone else think like this? Please help me )':